6 weeks post partum

Post partum update: 6 weeks

 

Weight loss: I think I was around 155 at the end of my pregnancy and when I went to see my midwife a few weeks ago I got on the scale and was around 132! I think I was mid 120's when I got pregnant. But I'm not worried about my weight...

Exercise: Just the usual occasional walks around the block 

Breast or bottle: We are formula feeding.. unfortunately. Pumping was just too stressful for me. But I am grateful that he at least got breast milk for the first month of his life..its better then no breast milk at all.
I will be the FIRST person to say Breast is Best for your baby. I will always always support breastmilk over formula. I envy those moms who stick to breastfeeding because it is HARD!!!! It is a lot of work. its a beautiful natural thing but it doesn't just happen (well I don't think so most of the time).. It takes a lot of work.
I have to point out that my baby just would not latch. trying to get him to latch in the hospital was impossible and he still wouldn't do it when we got home. I didn't just give up on breastfeeding, it just did not work out
When I have to feed Jaxon in public I get so embarrassed and feel so so guilty when I have to pull out my can of formula to make his bottles.. Hopefully I get over that some time.

Sleeping: I reeeally miss sleeping through the night and sleeping in :( good lord. Don't take advantage of that!!!!! or actually take total advantage of it if you don't have kids and can sleep. Just sleep all the time!!!!
He wakes up a few times a night. Pretty much every three hours like clock work. I change his diaper feed him his bottle, burp him and rock him back to sleep. Don't wanna jinx it but he is pretty easy at night.

Baby schedule: No schedule. I think he's still too little to work on that yet

Mood: My mood is ok. I confuse myself. I have been through a lot and I don't think I'm quite the same since I had a baby. I have no motivation to cook and I feel bad about that. I also have no appetite. Sometimes I go the entire day without eating until my husband gets home and makes dinner. I feel bad that I'm not that supermom superwife that has dinner ready everynight. That makes me kind of depressed. Sometimes I just take care of my baby and that alone is draining to do 24/7. I still grieve my birth experience, I don't think I will ever get over it. I still cry about it but not as much as I was before.

 

Now for belly pictures... This is 6 weeks post partum.

I even included a picture of my scar :/ I still hate it.. but I'm finally able to look at it. I wont touch it though. And even if I did touch it, its completely numb.

I wish my belly would go flat :( I'm dreading the summer time and finding a bathing suit. Gross.

 

I guess it hasn't gone down at all since my three week update :( Damn it.