I have to explain why this is such a miracle.
My entire adult life I didn't think I could get pregnant and have kids. I have my reasons for why I came to that conclusion. I told my husband when we started getting serious that I couldn't have kids. He took that pretty hard but he stuck with me. I've always hidden the pain from that by telling everyone I never wanted kids. I think over the years from saying that so much I kind of convinced myself that it was true. I didn't want kids. But deep down I did...
After a few months of marriage the topic came up between us a lot. I decided to see an OB to 'get some answers'. In August of 2012 I had my appointment. During the appointment I mentioned to the doctor that I didn't think I could get pregnant and I pretty much wanted to know 'What the hell was wrong with me'.
He sent me to a different exam room with a fancy ultrasound machine.. He did an internal ultrasound. I wasn't really sure what he was trying to find. He mentioned something about seeing some endometriosis but it wasn't much.
After that the only thing I can remember is him saying was that my next 'option' was surgery. That was like a punch to the gut. I'll never forget that. I was thinking 'there is NO way that is my only option!'. I've never had any kind of surgery in my entire life and that terrified me. There is no way that the only way you can tell me what is wrong with me is by cutting me open!!
I started bawling right in front of him. That was not the response I was expecting from this visit. I thought that he would have other suggestions but nope. Didn't give me any other options. I left that appointment defeated and so so sad.
I called my best friend and told her about the visit and how this couldn't be the only way. I cried a lot that day.
After that day I went full on research mode. I'm pretty sure I immediately went to TheBump.com and went to the forums. I went to the Trouble Trying to Get Pregnant board and just read and read. I saw something about fertility charting and temping to chart your cycles and figure out when you are ovulating to know exactly when your fertile window is.
I spent hours and hours and days and months honestly, researching all of this information. Before I just listened to a doctor telling me that I had to have surgery to figure out why I could never get pregnant, I had to know I tried everything possible first.
So I downloaded Fertility Friend on my phone. I went and bought a thermometer to take my basal body temp at the same exact time every single day. I even set the time on my phone to 6:40am for every day. I ordered OPKs to use to see if/when I was ovulating.
I could now tell you exactly how the woman's cycles work. It is amazing what you don't really know about your own body and how it works unless you really really educate yourself.
So I did charting for about a year before we finally got our BFP (Big Fat Positive). Even on my honeymoon in the Bahamas I had my alarm set to go off and temp in the morning.. I researched Evening Primrose Oil and began using that. There are so many other details about this that I wont get into.
The day of my positive test I wanted to take a test just in case because the next day, July 4th, we were going on a 10 hour road trip to see family in South Dakota. I was also 12 DPO (days past ovulation) so it was time to test anyway.
I had the most stressful day at work that day. I remember being so so tired. I needed to get home and start getting ready for this road trip and ended up working way late.
So when I was finally able to leave work I rushed home to start packing everything. In the middle of getting stuff ready I decided to test really quick. I really really expected to just test and it of course be negative and just move along like every other month of disappointment.
But not this time.
I just had one of the cheap wondofo tests. I saw a very faint second line. I couldn't believe my eyes. I just stood there in the bathroom staring at it saying No way in my head a million times. A million different things went through my head. I started shaking and could feel the adrenaline kick in because I was freaking out inside!
Usually when couples are TTC the woman plans some cute scenario out of how she will tell her husband. Well I thought that's what I would be doing too when or if I ever got a positive test. But I had no time for that and I was in such complete shock that I didn't even care at that moment. I called Chris into the bathroom.
I told him I took a pregnancy test. He knew I would be testing sometime soon. I asked him if he saw a second line. He said 'Yea but its so light'. I told him that a line is a line on a pregnancy test and that this was positive.
We were both in total shock that our reaction was pretty lame. We just didn't believe that it was true. There was no way we actually made a baby.
We had so much to do with packing for the trip but I told him we HAVE to go to Wal-Mart and get a digital test. I needed something better then these sticks.
We get back home and I just put the box on the counter. I was too nervous to do it right away.
I try to get more stuff packed and I even say to Chris 'Should I take the test or not?' He says he doesn't know.. He was just nervous too :)
I remember telling him that I was so exhausted I don't even know if I could get excited right now. Lol we were so tired.
It was really late and we started getting ready for bed. But we both knew we couldn't go to bed without knowing..
So I take a digital test and don't even look at it. I set it on the bathroom counter and leave because I don't wanna stare at it. I was so nervous. I actually leave the bedroom for a few minutes and when I walk back I see Chris' face and I just knew he peeked at it! He says 'you need to go look'. And I knew then what it said..
Our lives changed completely from that moment. What a blessing it is to be parents to this perfect little human. We love him more then anything. I do believe everything happens for a reason..
Thanks for reading :)
To see the videos of us telling our parents the news click here Clicky
I am also STILL working on my birth story.. :) Just taking my time to get through it
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