I have to get very sentimental for a moment. I love this kid. It's a kind of love that is seriously immeasurable. There is no end to this kind of love. Before I had a child, I didn't quite understand it when parents would say that about their kid(s). I was just like yea whatever I love my dogs like that so I know what your talking about. No. You really do not understand this type of love unless you experience it. I have literally held him while he was sleeping on my chest and just stared at him and cried because of how beautiful he is and how much I love him. He is the epitome of perfection in my eyes.
I cant wait until he can tell me he loves me and wants to give me kisses and wants no body else but his momma. And then at the same time I know that one day he won't want momma to kiss him in front of people :( He won't want momma to hold his hand :( He won't think he NEEDS me
:( Heartbreaking I know.
So right now, I hold him while he sleeps. If he is crying I don't let him cry, I grab him up and figure out what he needs even if I have to drop everything and just sit down and cuddle him. Even when that means I have to warm up my coffee 4 times before I even take a sip (because yes that happens a lot) I want him to know that no matter what.. Mom will be there. I want him to know that I worked very hard to have him before during and after pregnancy and birth. It was no cakewalk but he was worth it.
I had to say all of this because it really hit me one day that I finally feel bonded with him. When he was first born and maybe the first couple of months.. he just felt like a baby I had to take care of. I loved him of course but I can feel that love has grown deeper and deeper. I can admit that it was not this strong at first. I was scared that something wasn't right with me because I thought I should have felt different. But I do feel it now. It just took time. My recovery and depression from my birth experience I think hindered those feelings a lot.
Being a parent is not easy and our journey has just begun. But I will try my hardest to be the most amazing loving mom I can be. And that means A LOT of sacrifice and being completely unselfish.
So now on to pictures and milestones!
His first cloth diaper!
He loves his bath time! We got him some bath toys and he loves it! I still get in the bath tub with him. And we are starting to take baths every night.
He smiles ALL the time now. It's the most beautiful thing in the world to see his smile. And we have gotten him to giggle and laugh. But its a rare thing.
His favorite toy is his piano mat..
I started putting him in cloth diapers but then he got a yeast rash so we have to put that on hold until this rash is completely gone..
I've noticed that he really loves other babies. He loves to sit and watch this Vlog with me that I watch on YouTube all the time. Daily Bumps. He really loves to watch Oliver. Which is the baby in that Vlog. And in my last post we went on a play date and he loved seeing the other babies.
He took his first long road trip and did very very good!
Jaxon sleeps through the night mostly every night. I have to change his diaper once during the night and that usually wakes him up and then he gets mad. Sometimes I cant get him back to sleep without a bottle. but that isn't his fault.
He still loves to take his naps either in his swing or in my arms.
He loves to be outside!!
He also love to watch his doggie siblings play fight!
He has started full on making baby noises. He will 'talk' to you and 'talk' to people he sees on tv..
He is in size 2 diapers and 3 month stuff is too tight on him.. 3-6 months clothes it is now.
He still sleeps in the mini crib next to me. Not sure when we will start putting him in his crib. Probably not for a while.
I showed in my last post me putting him in the baby swing at the park. Its adorable. He likes it!
He has started to grasp things and hold them. A couple times he would put them straight into his mouth.
He is always gnawing on his fists.. all the time. So much drool
He loves to sit in front of the mirror in the bathroom. Its the cutest thing ever. He loves to look at his reflection in any mirror.
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