I don't breastfeed... not by my choice

I have got to talk about this and get it off my chest! It's been constantly on my mind and it's causing me stress and I'm not able to focus on the important things in my life that I should be focusing on these past couple of days.

Here is a link to a the story that started it all.. Breastfeeding moms stage "nurse-in" at Tulsa Kmart
Short version: Basically, a mother was breastfeeding her baby while in line at Kmart and an employee told her to go to the bathroom.

1. Breastfeeding can be done anywhere anytime BY LAW in Oklahoma.
2. In MY OPINION, Breastfeeding is a beautiful and natural thing and can and should be done wherever and whenever mom is comfortable doing it! Don't like it... DONT LOOK!!
3. MEN have NO place telling any women how or when they should breastfeed their child! They have absolutely no clue about anything women have to go through. Period.

I am in a local cloth diaper group on Facebook and this topic has been ALL over it the past couple of days because of a 'nurse in' that a group of breastfeeding supporters did the other day.
There was of course a news crew there. Once this story was posted on the news stations website and Facebook, it's like all hell broke loose!

I can't even read the comments, they bring out every single emotion you can experience. ANGER! Sad! Happy to see so many supporters! Confusion because how can people be SO MEAN and insensitive to something as natural as breastfeeding! Where do all these men (and some women) get their information? They are clueless!! Telling a mother that she can just pump before she leaves the house and feed her baby a bottle. CLUELESS!!!!!!!!!!! There is so much more that goes in to that!!!

I could go on and on and on about how this makes me feel.. But let me let you in on a little secret.
I DONT BREASTFEED....
Not by my choice. My son never ever wanted to latch. I tried so hard. But I just couldn't make him and he didn't want to. It broke me. I never even had a bottle at home or bought any while I was pregnant because to me, breastfeeding was gonna be it.
I wanted to breastfeed so bad because I knew that is what was best for him. I pumped for a month and there are reasons why I stopped. It's a hard thing for me to talk about. And when I tell someone my son uses formula I also feel like I have to defend myself. It sucks. For the first few months I was embarrassed to make him a bottle in public because I wanted to breastfeed so badly.

But besides that.. I am a formula feeding mother that will stand up for any breastfeeding mother. I will support breastfeeding one million percent.

But the thing that has been bothering me are some of the comments about this whole situation and when formula feeding is thrown into it.

This comment kind of hurt my feelings...
"You don't see us going around shaming mothers for using formula.... which is actually pretty gross and it says right on the can that it is not sterile"

I pretty sure that comment was very hypocritical. You JUST SHAMED FORMULA FEEDING MOTHERS BY SAYING THAT LAST PART!!!!!!!

After reading that... I had to stop. It hurt really bad and I wish I didn't take it so personally.
I refuse to argue on the internet. Yes, I will read the drama but it is really rare that I participate in it.
But this comment sat with me all weekend and I wish I could have just went off and said what I was feeling. But I don't do that because I feel like I can never write out truly what I want to say and feel.
So after laying in bed one night and thinking about it and it keeping me awake I decided that I needed to write about it.

So here I am. Trying to get these feelings out so I can just move on and get over it.

Just because my son is on formula does not make him any less healthy or smart as a breastfed baby.
If you are a breastfeeding mother and never ever had to make the hard decision to switch to formula... Feel lucky. Feel blessed. Don't for a second think you need to 'remind' me/us what is best for my baby. I already KNOW.
But I don't need you to say these awful things about formula. Keep that shit to yourself. Being a mother is HARD ENOUGH and trying to make every single decision the RIGHT ONE is hard enough.

I am a formula feeding mother that supports the shit out of breastfeeding!! I would expect the same respect. If I saw a breastfeeding mother being put down somewhere, anywhere. In a SECOND, I would be defending her! I wish I felt the same way about a breasfeeding mother doing that for this formula feeding mother.

Don't say shit like breastfed babies are smarter..
Formula is full of horrible chemicals that are terrible for your baby.
Formula is DISGUSTING!!!!

Just keep that shit to yourself. Stop the shaming. Stop the mom wars! I support YOU please do the same for ME and my BEAUTIFUL THRIVING HEALTHY FORMULA FED BABY.